Christmas Wish ONE SHOT
by savannavansmutsmut
Summary: Bella makes a wish every year to find someone to love her for who she is. Edward is a widower not ready to move on, but he couldn't leave Bella behind in the abusive home she was in. Repost, this was part of last years Christmas countdown.


**Written in collaboration with and beta'd by Dollybigmomma. This was previously posted last year as part of the Countdown to Christmas, so some of you may have read this before.**

**Christmas Wish**

**BELLA**

Every year since I was twelve, I had made the same Christmas wish. I'd step out into the cool Texas night on Christmas Eve, focus on the brightest star I could see, and then close my eyes and pray silently that I would meet someone who would love me with their whole heart, just the way I was. I needed to be loved. I had been told since I was little that I wasn't wanted. I was a mistake, and I wasn't ever going to find a man who would want me, because I was a big girl.

My mother insisted that I was too fat and ugly to ever find a man willing to put up with me. I knew she was right, but sometimes I questioned that, because she and I looked just alike, and my daddy was with her. Still, every year, on that night when magic was supposed to happen, I stood on that porch, begging God to make her wrong and send someone to love me, even with all my faults.

He never came.

I had lost hope by the time I was twenty-five. I knew I'd never have a boyfriend, no matter how much I wished for one. My mother really was right. No one would ever want me. Knowing that didn't help my emotional eating, and any hope I had of ever being found attractive was buried underneath each additional pound I gained.

School and my part-time job in the math department was my only escape from my home life. Thankfully, my daddy held education in high regard, mostly because he didn't have any, so he made sure there was money for us to go to college. Unfortunately, my mom was in control of everything, including my daddy and all the household money, both what I earned and my father's earnings, as well as everything else in our world. My dad was supportive of whatever I chose, as long it didn't go against what my mom decided, which would have caused her to go on the warpath against him. So ultimately, I didn't get to go where I truly wanted.

I had wanted to go to culinary arts school, but my mother scoffed at that, reassuring me that my ass was fat enough already. She insisted on me becoming an accountant, which she believed would be more useful. She refused to allow tuition money to be spent for anything else. I had learned from a very young age that arguing with my mother ended badly. I really hated busted lips and bruises on my face, and so I had learned to keep my head down and just say, "Yes, Ma'am."

She assured me I'd never meet a man willing to marry or take care of me, so I knew I had to get an education in order to be able to take care of myself. She was convinced I would be better off doing something I didn't have to go out in public to do and work from home. I guess since she was an antisocial recluse who hated other people getting too close to us, she figured I should be one, too. Besides, she really hated taking her taxes to H&R Block.

I had spent a few years in community college getting my core classes done, and I'd even managed to complete three associate degrees in the process. I was on track to graduate with my bachelor's degree at the end of the coming spring semester, and despite what my mom had always believed about me being less intelligent than my brother, James, I had a 3.4 GPA and was doing very well. At least I had that to be proud of. James was older, but he still didn't have any degrees, even though he had been going to school longer.

I was in the college library, when I noticed a girl giggling at her computer. I gathered the courage to sneak up closer, so I could see what she was doing. She was chatting with someone online.

She was on a website called Lonely Hearts. I moved a little closer, but accidentally bumped into a stack of books. She startled and asked me what I was doing.

"Is that a website to meet people?"

She eyed me up and down disdainfully. "Yes," she answered shortly and logged out.

Once she was out of the room, I quickly sat down. I did a search for the Lonely Hearts website. I had heard some scary things about those kinds of sites, but at this point, I was desperate. I was willing to risk being kidnapped and murdered for a chance at being loved.

I quickly set up my profile and waited. I didn't know what I was expecting, and I wondered if I shouldn't have been honest about my weight. I shook that thought off. If I really wanted to find someone who would love me, then he'd have to love all of me.

I waited a while longer, and then I noticed the time. I had to study, so I could get home. My mom was already giving me hell about staying so late at school, but I had put off my hardest accounting courses until the very last, and now I was procrastinating, mostly because I absolutely loathed accounting, and I didn't want to go home. If I didn't get an accounting degree, though, mom assured me I wouldn't be able to take care of myself, I wouldn't be able to do her taxes, and I'd die on the streets, alone and starving. Of course, it would take a while. I had plenty of fat on my body to live off of for months.

For the next three days, I'd find myself in the college library whenever I could without getting into trouble. I logged in and checked my profile, only to find no one had answered. There was a notation suggesting I post a picture with my profile, but I didn't have a way to do it.

After another two days of deliberation, I found a picture I was in at home and got permission to use the scanner at the library. I wasn't the main focus in the picture, or any picture, really, but I was dressed in a clean dress in the background with a smile on my face. I was sure it was the clearest picture that was available to me.

I waited in anticipation for a note of interest, but none came. I was ready to pull the profile down, when I decided to read it over once more. It all sounded very professional. My mother said the only way another human would be willing to interact with me was on a professional-only basis. I tried to make friends, but when I did bring someone home, she would be completely obnoxious and dominate our conversations to the point they would never come back.

I'd like to think I'd have friends if I was allowed to. She never let me out to play with the kids in the neighborhood as a child, and at school, I was teased and ridiculed because of my weight, my granny glasses, my ugly homemade polyester calf-length skirts, and my masculine hand-me-down shirts I inherited from my brother and dad. I really did look like a freak.

I loved people, and I wanted to be brave and put myself out there. If I wanted to be loved by someone's whole heart, I'd need to show some of mine.

My profile read like a resume.

**Bella Swan: Age twenty-five, five foot nine inches tall, two hundred thirty pounds, brown hair, greenish-brown eyes. Graduate of Garland High School with a B average. Currently a student at UT Arlington with a B average. I can type seventy-five words a minute. **

My typing speed was currently my best attribute, sadly, and it didn't sound so impressive. I really hoped that re-working my profile would get me more attention. I decided to poke around the site and look at other girls' profiles to get some ideas.

Some were just disgraceful, others sounded desperate. I fell into the desperate category. It was time I rewrote things and made my intentions clear.

**Bella Swan: Age twenty-five, tall and full-figured. I'm looking for a husband and will happily keep house for him and raise his family. I only ask to be loved in return. I can truly appreciate the hard work a man does to provide for a family, and I would care for you deeply in gratitude. Please consider me when looking for a wife.**

There it was. It was out there, and when I hit save, I nearly panicked. I had basically just shouted out to the world that I was lonely and desperate. Of course, the site _was_ called Lonely Hearts.

I was a jittery mess when I left the library. Christmas Eve was Monday, and I knew I wouldn't be able to check the site until I returned after the Christmas break, since my brother was a jerk about letting me use his computer, and I didn't have one of my own. I would have tried to get up to the public library, but we lived too far from it to walk, I didn't have the excuse of classwork to go there and not be at home doing chores, and I would have had to ask to use my brother's car, which never ended well.

This year, when I stepped out onto the porch to make my annual wish, I closed my eyes harder than ever, prayed more fervently than ever before, and for the first time, I said the words out loud, not caring if my family heard my plea or not. I wanted to get away. I wanted a home, a real life and a love of my own.

"Bella, what in tarnation are you doing outside? Who are you talking to? You have work to do. Someone has to clean the table and dinner dishes. Stop slacking and get to work, you useless pig!"

I got to work and saved the leftovers from their dinner to make my own. It was mostly fried potatoes and lard from the fried pork chops that was left over, which was better than the white rice and ham lard that was usually left. The potatoes would be a nice change. Things were already looking up. I really had a feeling that things would get better soon.

"Bella, rub your brother's feet, and get the clippers and trim his toenails. He's spent the week working hard at school, and he needs to be cared for," my mother ordered.

I got to work on James' stinky feet. When I was done, he kicked me over hard and laughed when my head cracked against the coffee table. He was a jerk.

I worked just as hard, if not harder, than him at school. My efforts were discounted, though, because it was obvious to everyone that I'd never amount to much and was not worthy of being cared for. That seemed to be the consensus of the guys I went to school with as well. I obviously lacked something, and so I wasn't approached by them like the pretty girls were. They made it clear I was just a fat, unattractive girl who they only tolerated being in their classes…that was unless they needed my help or to borrow my notes. Then I would get the occasional smile and attempted nice-making. I had learned to spot that crap a mile away, but I would admit to sometimes giving in and helping them, just to feel like someone was interested, even if it was only pretend. I knew I would most likely end up alone and a spinster, being a burden on my parents, until I could start bringing in better money.

I was expected to make myself useful until then.

My brother finally headed to his bedroom, and my parents headed to their own. I sat on the couch, looking out the window. I didn't have a room, but I hoped that someday, a man would love me and take me in. I wouldn't have my own room then, either, but I would happily share one with him. A bed over a lumpy couch had to be better. I had flopped on my brother's bed more than once as I made it. It was only a moment, not wanting to get caught dawdling. Yes, a real bed would be nice to have someday.

The next morning, after my brother was done opening his pile of Christmas presents, I was surprised when my mother actually called me out of the kitchen and gave me a gift. She handed me a plastic grocery sack, and inside it was an actual blouse, homemade out of an old floral curtain, but at least it was somewhat feminine-looking. "You need to look as professional as you're capable of when you start talking to people about doing their taxes."

It was a generous gift to give, and I was thankful to receive one.

The spring semester could not come fast enough. As soon as I was out of sight of James, I shamefully ran across campus to the library and logged in first thing. My eyes settled on the inbox, and I shook as I saw a message waiting for me. I had one. I had hope. It was possible that this man would want me.

_Dear Bella,_

_I hope you had a pleasant holiday. I am Edward Cullen. I am a widower with a two-year-old daughter. If you wish to continue correspondence, please reply._

_Sincerely, Edward_

My heart beat fast. He was a real man, wanting me to respond. I could only guess that he didn't write more, because he was worried that I wouldn't want to care for his daughter. I had no problems with him being married before or him having a daughter. I was actually a little excited to have a family of my own so quickly.

_Dear Edward,_

_Thank you so much for writing. I am sorry to hear of your loss. I would love to continue corresponding with you. I hope you and your daughter had a happy holiday as well. _

_Sincerely, Bella_

I shook after I sent it off. I was worried I had been too forward. I quickly went to his profile. There was a picture of his family, and I could only guess that it was his deceased wife who was in it with him. She was pretty, but she looked a little heavy-set like I was. It gave me hope that he would not find my weight a hindrance.

I nearly leapt out of my chair, when I heard the computer ding, alerting me to a new message. I opened it excitedly.

_Dear Bella,_

_I am happy to hear that my having a daughter didn't scare you off. As I said before, she is only two years of age and is the apple of my eye. I will confess it was my mother who pushed me to join this site. She believes I need a woman to raise my daughter properly. Would you be willing to help with the monumental task of caring for my daughter? Your profile said you would care for my family, and she is it._

_Sincerely, Edward_

His response was not really heartwarming in regards to him taking a new wife, but at this point, it sounded better than where I was coming from. He obviously valued his daughter's happiness, which was much more than I could say for my family.

_Dear Edward,_

_I did say I wanted a family, and I would happily consider your daughter as my own if permitted. I would gladly raise her to be a respectful woman. Your devotion to her is endearing, and I am sure that my affection for you would easily grow if you are interested in pursuing a relationship with me. _

My heart was beating fast, and I wondered if I should be so bold as to request expanding our family. I did want children, and I wondered if he would be in a financial position to support more.

_At the risk of being forward, I wonder if you would be amenable to having more children. If not, I understand and would concede to your wishes._

_Sincerely, Bella_

My heart pounded in my chest as I sent it. I was scared that my last statement would send him running. I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer that he would respond again. Tears pushed forward, when a full ten minutes passed without him answering me. I was sure I had lost him.

Then the computer dinged.

_Dear Bella,_

_It has only been six months since I lost my wife. She died while giving birth to my son, neither survived. I am hesitant to expand my family. I don't know if I could handle losing any more. Please take my worry into consideration. What you ask of me is reasonable, but I'm not sure I can fulfill your request. If you wish to end our correspondence, I'd understand._

_Sincerely, Edward_

My heart broke when I read his story. I did want a family, but completely understood him not wanting to try for any more children and risk losing more family. I was sure I looked a fool as I cried, typing my response.

_Dear Edward,_

_My heart goes out to you. I am so very sorry to hear that you lost not one, but two in your family. I will concede to your wishes. One child to raise will be enough for me to be content. I promise to love your daughter as my own, because she would be the only child in our family. I hope you will further consider taking me as a wife._

_Sincerely, Bella_

I wiped my tears and wondered if he really was ready to take on a new wife. I worried he would resent me. I wouldn't be the wife he had fallen in love with, but one of convenience. A nanny would fill the roll just as easily as a new wife under these circumstances. I was sure this was the point where most women shied away from him, but most weren't as desperate as I was. He sounded heartbroken over his wife, and he seemed to care for his daughter. I would like to believe my parents loved me, but it was hard to tell. I hoped with time he would develop some sort of affection for me.

My computer dinged once again.

_Dear Bella,_

_I would like to meet you in person. Thank you for your understanding. I live in Chicago, Illinois. I do not want to put a strain on your family by requesting you purchase travel arrangements to visit me. I'm willing to come to you. I will not be bringing my daughter on the visit. _

_Sincerely, Edward_

My eyes widened, and I worried I wouldn't be what he wanted. I was scared that he'd meet me and know I really wasn't good enough to be a proper wife. I trembled as I typed my response. I prayed that he wouldn't be angry when he met me and decided I had wasted his time and money.

_Dear Edward,_

_I live in Garland, Texas. The closest airport is in Dallas. I look forward to meeting you, and I hope you don't find me a disappointment._

_Sincerely, Bella_

I hit send and then silently cursed myself for calling myself a disappointment. I was sure he'd change his mind about coming to see me. My computer dinged.

_Dear Bella,_

_My flight will be in Friday afternoon. I would like to take you to dinner that evening and spend the next day getting to know you. _

_Sincerely, Edward_

I started to panic. He was coming, and he was going to take me on my very first date ever. I squealed and bounced in my seat, earning a chastening from the librarian.

_Dear Edward,_

_I am very excited to meet you. I look forward to seeing you in person. I attend UTA, and I have a class on Friday, but I am free in the evening. If you would like to pick me up from campus, I will gladly join you for dinner._

_I hope my attending school so long does not offend you. I will happily put our family first. Caring for a family is my foremost wish in life. I hope you do not hold my seeking more education than the standard against me. I did it in hopes of providing for myself, as I didn't want to be a burden to my family._

_Sincerely, Bella_

I bit my lip, worried he wouldn't want to meet me. If I couldn't have a husband and children, I really did want a career where I would be valued, but I wanted a family so much more.

_Dear Bella,_

_I will pick you up from the UTA library at 7:00pm on Friday._

_Sincerely, Edward_

That was it. He was going to meet me in three days. I was a mess of jitters and made more than one mistake, making my family furious, as I stumbled through my chores. I was distracted after dinner on Thursday night. I'd be eating with Edward the next day, and my stomach turned with worry, making me lose my appetite. I barely remembered to clear the table, and my mother was furious that she had to remind me. She smacked me hard with the back of her hand. I was sure it would bruise. I didn't know how I would hide it from Edward, since I didn't have any makeup. I knew I'd be a disappointment for sure.

As I was getting dressed on Friday, I realized all the clothes I had were horrible. I was desperate, so I did something I would have never had the nerve to do before. When my mother wasn't looking, I slipped into her purse and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill. She had cashed my last paycheck from the math department, so I justified it as being my money in the first place. I hated doing something so sneaky, but I couldn't meet Edward without doing something. There was a Goodwill store close to the campus, so I skipped my morning class and went shopping, lucky to find a halfway decent dress that fit me and a pair of flats that weren't my brother's old sneakers. I also found a small grab bag of used makeup. I hoped I could wipe my face and hide the dress under my coat before I came into the house, else there would be hell to pay and questions to answer as to how I was able to acquire something so nice.

I nearly vomited as I paced in front of the library. I almost didn't see him walking up the steps. My profile picture was terrible and hard to decipher. I was sure he wouldn't be able to pick me out. I nearly ran the other way, but I knew I couldn't. He had come all this way. I had to at least meet him.

"Edward?" I tried to speak above a whisper.

He turned toward me, looking me up and down, "Are you Bella?"

I nodded yes and burst into tears. "I'm so sorry."

He looked around sharply; like he was scared someone would come out of the bushes and attack him. "Why are you sorry?" he asked harshly.

"I know I'm a disappointment. I shouldn't have agreed to meet you."

"A disappointment?" he sounded confused. I peeked up at him, and he came closer. "Why do you think you're a disappointment? Are you rescinding your interest in pursuing a relationship with me?"

I shook my head no. "I'd love to be your wife. I'm just afraid I'm not worthy of having anyone."

It was then his eyes settle on my cheek, "Bella, what happened to your face?" I guess the cheap makeup hadn't worked after all.

I blushed and turned away.

"Did someone hurt you?" His eyes darted around again. "Bella, answer me, did someone hurt you? Should I call the police? Have you been assaulted?" He looked me over more carefully. He was too kind.

"No, I'm sorry. No one around here hurt me."

He lifted my chin to get a better look at my face.

"I'm sorry," I apologized again. I was sure he wouldn't want to be seen with me. I had been such a fool to fall behind in my duties and be punished.

He frowned, but took my arm. I was surprised when he took me to a rental car and opened the door for me. He was going to take me out, anyways. The restaurant he took me to was much nicer than anywhere I had ever been, and I felt very under-dressed, even wearing my new second-hand clothes.

He ordered our food, once he knew I wasn't allergic to anything. His eyes settled on my cheek again. "Who hit you, Bella?"

My eyes dropped to the table, "My mom."

"Did you do or say something disrespectful? Not that that would justify her hitting you."

My eyes widened in shock, "No, never. I'd never do that."

He frowned, I was sure not fully believing my words.

I knew I'd have to confess. "I was distracted last night. I knew we'd be meeting today, and I wasn't staying on task. I was late clearing the dinner dishes. I'm sorry." I wasn't sure how he would respond.

"You were late clearing the dishes? Did you intend to refuse?"

"Refuse?" I wasn't sure what he was asking.

"Were you refusing to do it?"

"No, of course not!" I was slightly offended.

His eyes kept focusing on my face. "Do your parents know you're out with me?"

I blushed a deep red. "My mother doesn't like me to associate with other people."

"People? Who do you talk with outside of your home?"

"I…" I didn't really know what to say. He deserved the truth, "I'm not allowed to have friends. I'm sorry you came all this way. I shouldn't have requested a relationship with you. It was silly wishful thinking." I vowed in that moment never to utter that stupid wish on Christmas Eve ever again.

He sat back in his chair, sizing me up. "Do you think you'd be able to handle caring for my daughter?"

My eyes snapped up to his. I nodded a fervent yes.

"Very well, I'd like to see you again tomorrow." He paid the bill and walked me to the car. I realized my mistake. He'd take me straight home, to my house. My parents would see I was dressed differently, out with a person, and not studying at the library. I was sure they'd be livid I was so late as it was.

I gave him directions to my home. I was too scared to look at his face, as he navigated into the rundown neighborhood. "It's there." I pointed to my home and peeked up at him. "I'm sorry," I apologized again.

"What for?"

"For not being better than I am, I'm sure you expected more."

"Let me determine if you're good enough. I'll see you tomorrow. Can I pick you up in the morning at nine o'clock?"

"Can you make it ten? I should be done with my chores by then."

He smiled and nodded at me. He opened the car door for me and walked me up onto the porch. I nervously peeked in the window, scared someone might see me. "Thank you for having dinner with me. Have a pleasant evening." He kissed my hand, making me blush.

"You, too, thank you."

Once he was headed back to his car, I made sure my coat was buttoned all the way and quickly rushed into my house, ready to face the wrath of my parents. I knew Edward would be worth it.

"Where have you been?" my mother shouted at me, "And what is that on your face?" she growled, swiping at the makeup barely covering my bruise.

"I had a date." I didn't bother answering her about the makeup.

"A date? You lying, ungrateful pig. There isn't a man on this planet who'd show any interest in you. Now tell me where you were!" She slapped me hard, but I didn't answer, because I wasn't sure what to say. "Speak up, you liar, tell me!" She hit me several times more, and my brother threw a glass of something at me, laughing.

"Clean that up!" she spat at me.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Don't think you're getting off that easily. You have dishes to do!" She started throwing the dirty pots at me. They clanged around the kitchen when they bounced off me and hit the floor. I let out a loud yelp, when one connected with the back of my head. James grabbed a skillet off the floor and saw fit to hit me with it himself.

"Clean it faster, faster, you fat ugly cow!" he sang as he laughed. I was so glad Edward wasn't around to see my humiliation. I was sure he'd run the other way.

There was a loud rapping on the door. My brother gave me another good whack, knocking me to the floor, just as my mother answered it. I quickly scrambled to get up and froze when I saw it was Edward standing there. He looked furious. I was so ashamed.

"Who are you?" my mother asked gruffly.

"I'm Edward Cullen. I've come to see Bella."

My mother snapped at him, "She's not allowed to speak to anyone, now go away." She turned her glare on me. "Get back to work!"

I made to go to the kitchen, but James didn't think I was moving fast enough and smacked me hard across the ass with the skillet he was holding, causing me to stumble.

Edward made to move forward, but my mother stopped him, shoving him back. "I said you're not welcome here. I don't know who you are, but you need to leave."

"I think Bella should come with me."

My mother laughed in his face. "That's never going to happen. She's not allowed to leave. I can only guess that you met her at school. I think she's getting a little too comfortable there, so her brother will be watching her on campus a lot closer until she graduates and gets that damn degree, since apparently being left to her own devices is causing her to misbehave." She pushed Edward off the porch, before she came back in and slammed the door, yanking my hair and pulling me into the kitchen. "Don't you even think about ever talking to him again!"

"I'm sorry!" I cried. "I'm sorry!"

I guess it wasn't my place to dream of a better life. I had disappointed everyone for even trying.

I was sure I had seen the last of Edward, so I was startled when he pulled up in the driveway the next morning. I was in the backyard hanging laundry, freezing my butt off in the cold January morning air. He was very early. It was almost seven thirty, and the rest of my family wasn't up yet.

"Get in the car," he ordered, and my eyes widened.

"I'm not done. If I don't…"

"Get in the car now, Bella, please. You're coming with me. You're leaving this place for good."

I nodded and ran inside to grab my purse, and then I slipped back out, careful not to wake anyone. I took a few steps toward Edward, glancing back at my house, scared to death. "If I leave…"

"You're not coming back." He stormed over, grabbing my hand and dragged me to the car. I barely fought him, not really wanting to stay, but unsure of what was happening. He zipped down the road, nearly giving me a heart attack. "I spoke with my mother last night. I've decided that we should date a bit more, and I need you to live locally. She has a room ready for you."

I was shocked when he pulled right up to the airport. I thought he'd spend the day with me like he had asked the night before, but it seemed he was past that. He went right up to the counter, where there was a ticket for me. I was sure I was dreaming. We quickly boarded, and I buckled the seat belt and looked out the window and then back at him. "Is this real?"

He took my hand and squeezed it. We sat quietly. I didn't want to disturb him, and he didn't seem to be in a good mood. I wouldn't be if I was him. He was stuck with me for the time being, but I was determined to make myself useful when I arrived at his mother's home.

A portly woman with a soft smile met us at the airport. She threw her arms up and hugged me right off, and I did my best to hide my cringing in pain. "Well, Bella, I'm happy to see you look to be about my size clothing-wise. Edward said you wouldn't be able to pack."

I peeked at Edward, worried about how much he had told her.

"Who has Elizabeth?" he asked right off.

"Alice has her at my house. She's fine, Edward. She's done just fine while you were away."

Edward was anxious to see his daughter, and I was curious to meet her as well. From the picture I had seen, she had her father's hair and eyes.

As soon as we stepped through the door, she shot straight at him, squealing, "Daddy!" He scooped her up, kissing her all over her face.

"Were you good for Grandma?" he asked her. She nodded yes and then started to jabber excitedly, but I couldn't understand what she was saying. She pointed at things, and he seemed to be listening intently. He kissed her head, "I missed you, angel."

"Bella, why don't I show you to your room," Mrs. Cullen said with a smile.

His mother led me down the hallway and opened the door. She was literally giving me a whole room to myself, with a bed! I hadn't realized I'd said the last bit out loud. I could tell she forced a smile on her face. I worried that she'd figure out I didn't deserve one. "The bathroom is across the hall. The towels and soaps are in the linen closet. I've put some clothing in your closet. I think they'll fit you. If not, I'm sure Edward will see about getting you some that will."

I blushed a deep red at the mention of Edward. I wasn't sure of what his plans for me were, but I figured they were most likely better than what I was doing at home.

"My husband comes home at six o'clock, and dinner is served promptly at his arrival."

"Yes, Ma'am."

She smiled. "I think you'll do well here."

"Thank you."

She left me to get cleaned up, and Edward left while I was in the shower. His mother said that it was important to get his daughter back on her schedule. I had heard of such things and took no offense, not that I had any right to be offended.

I pulled my long hair up into a fresh ponytail and went to the kitchen to start dinner at five o'clock. There was a chicken thawed, and I checked the spice cabinet. They had a lot more than I was used to using. I smelled a few and determined they would work well together and mixed a little bit in a bowl. I separated the skin from the chicken and was massaging them under it, when Mrs. Cullen came in. "What are you doing?"

Her eyes settled on the seasonings, and I realized they were most likely for special occasions. "I'm so sorry. I thought it'd be okay to use them. I didn't realize…"

"Bella, why do you have the chicken?"

"I thought you wanted me to make it for dinner. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize. I'll put it back. I didn't know. If you'll just tell me what you want…"

"I did intend to have the chicken for dinner, but I planned to cook it myself."

"I'm sorry," I whispered and lowered my head, not sure what to do.

"Well, you have it started, so you might as well finish it. I think it'll be nice to have another set of hands in the kitchen. I despise working with meat as it is," she grinned.

She pulled out some potatoes and shocked me by scrubbing them herself. I went back to rubbing the seasoning on the chicken. I was about to cut it up for the skillet, but Esme said it would be healthier baked. I was excited about not having to fry it. My mom always wanted everything fried, and I hated it. Esme instructed me on how to tie it up and ready it for the oven instead. I washed my hands and set the timer. "What sides do you want to make?"

Her grin was huge. "My husband likes green beans. There's a bag of fresh ones in the refrigerator. Would you mind snapping them?"

I shook my head no and quickly retrieved them. We usually didn't have so much variety at my house. Dinner was ready five minutes before six, and I had just enough time to set the table for Mr. Cullen. I hoped he wouldn't be too upset about me being in his home.

I had just set the last dish of food on the table, when I heard him walk in. I quickly took my place in the kitchen, waiting for them to call me when they were done with dinner.

Mrs. Cullen came in a few minutes later. "It's time for dinner."

"Yes, Ma'am, I set everything out." I worried that I had missed something.

"My husband likes to eat promptly at six."

"Yes, Ma'am, is there something wrong? Did I forget something?" I wrung my hands nervously.

"We're waiting on you," she sounded a little irritated.

"Me? I don't understand."

"We're waiting for you to join us at the table."

My mouth opened like a codfish, "The table?"

"Yes, where else would you eat?"

I frowned, not sure I had the right answer. "The kitchen…once you're done?"

She shook her head at me.

"I'm sorry." I didn't want her to be angry.

"Come along. I'll explain the misunderstanding to Carlisle."

I sat quietly at the table, not sure of what I was supposed to do with myself. Mr. and Mrs. Cullen talked quietly about his day.

"Bella," he addressed me, and I jumped in my seat.

"I'm sorry," I answered right away. I knew he'd address my delaying his dinner sooner or later.

He let out a sigh. "Are you going to eat?"

I peeked up at them and back to my empty plate. "Yes, Sir, once you're done, I'll clear the dishes and…"

"I expect you to eat with us, at the same time."

I wasn't sure what to do. There was a lot of food left, and I didn't want to take anything that he might want. I took a small potato and set it on my plate. They were both watching me, making me more nervous. I quickly cut into it and took a bite, wondering if it was really okay for me to eat.

"Surely only that little potato won't be enough for you," Esme admonished.

I looked at the green beans, there were a lot left, and they looked beautiful. There was still a breast and a leg left, and they each had a different piece, obviously having different preferences. I was starting to panic. I didn't want to upset them by not eating, but I didn't want to upset them by taking the food they wanted.

"Bella, is there something wrong with the food?" Mr. Cullen asked. My eyes were wide. I didn't know how to answer him. I shook my head no. "Then why aren't you eating, did you put something in the food?"

"No, Sir, I'd never…I…I…I…"

"Why aren't you eating, dear?" Mrs. Cullen asked.

My eyes darted to her, and I struggled to breathe. "Please, Ma'am, I don't know what to eat. If I could just wait in the kitchen…I only ever eat what's left. I don't want to take anything you'd want."

Mr. Cullen put his silverware down with a huff. I knew he was upset, and I didn't know how to fix it. "For heaven's sake, Esme, fix her a plate before she passes out."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I whispered in tears as she set the large piece of chicken breast and a helping of green beans on my plate next to my little potato.

"Just eat, dear. We'll figure things out when you're done."

"Yes, Ma'am."

I kept my head down and ate quietly, too afraid to mess anything up further. Mr. Cullen set his fork down and pushed away from the table. I quickly grabbed his plate and made my way to the kitchen. I was determined not to mess up again. I quickly washed it and rushed back for the other dishes.

"Are you done eating, dear?" Esme asked me.

I wasn't, but I knew the dishes weren't allowed to linger on the table. I looked at the vacant chair and back to my plate several times, then up to her.

"Sit down and finish your food. He won't be upset."

I sat down softly in hopes of him not hearing me. I quickly finished my food and stood next to my chair. "Can I clear the table now?"

"No," she stated plainly.

My head snapped up, sure I'd misheard her.

"You've done enough for today. Why don't you go relax? There's a bookshelf in the hall. You should see if there's something you'd like."

I was scared she was upset that she'd had to make my plate and was trying to get me punished. I stood stiffly at the table, scared to disobey her and scared to listen to her at the same time.

"Carlisle, please tell Bella to go read a book and leave the dishes to me," she called to her husband.

"Go read a book, Bella," he shouted back.

"See, now move along. I'm sure you'll find something you'll like."

"Yes, Ma'am, thank you."

Living with the Cullen's was very confusing. I wasn't required to do all the chores, just help Esme with a few. She often sent me off to read a book. It scared me at first, but they had yet to raise their voices at me or raise a hand.

She even went so far as to brush my hair out and put it up in a clip, when Edward asked to take me out on a date. His mother watched his daughter while we were out.

"How are you liking my parents' house?"

"It's lovely, they're lovely people. I've truly enjoyed my time there."

"My mother has told me you've been doing a lot of reading."

I was worried that he wouldn't approve. "She told me I could. I hope that's alright. Your father even gave me permission. I didn't get in trouble, but if you…"

"Bella, please, settle down. I'm more than fine with you reading. Most of the books in the hall bookcase at my parents' house were mine at one time. I just wanted to ask you about what you read."

"Oh, I'm sorry." I was embarrassed for acting like a fool again.

"Do you wish to see a doctor?"

I looked down at myself confused. My bruises had all healed.

"One to speak to, Bella, a therapist." My brow furrowed, not sure what to say. "If you hold any interest in caring for my daughter, you need to be mentally sound. I won't have you teaching her to walk on eggshells and be scared," he said sternly.

"Yes, Sir, I'll do whatever you want."

"It's for you, too, Bella. I think it might help you."

"Okay," I nodded. I'd do whatever he thought was best, since it was for his daughter's well-being.

"Alright, now that that's settled, why don't you tell me about one of the books you enjoyed?"

I talked excitedly about a couple of his historical novels, and I couldn't hold back my blush when he smiled at me. Our conversation flowed smoothly after that. I had a lovely time and was sad to see the evening end. His daughter was excitedly bouncing in his arms as he readied to leave. "Bella, I had a wonderful time. I'll speak with my father about you seeing a therapist. He'll set the appointment up for you."

I nodded and glanced over at Esme, embarrassed. She put her arm around me and kissed my temple. "That sounds like a very good idea, Edward. I think it'll do her well."

True to his word, Edward's father called me in and informed me of my appointment. When I arrived at the doctor's office, I was shocked to find a woman sitting in the room and not a man. I wondered if I was in the right place. I looked back into the waiting room, where Esme was waiting patiently.

"Come on in, Bella," the doctor called me in. "Please, have a seat anywhere you'd like."

She let me know what she had been told about me, and she called my punishment abuse. I wasn't sure I agreed with that, but she made it very clear that it was, and I needed to work through it if I wanted to have positive relationships in the future. I really did. I wanted so much to be accepted by Edward, and I was willing to do whatever it took.

Some sessions were harder than others, but I always had my date with Edward to look forward to at the end of the week. I felt so much lighter after I spoke with Dr. Rogers. It really felt like my life was turning around.

One Friday afternoon, Edward came to the house early with his daughter in his arms. I was sure something had come up, and he was bringing her over to be babysat, because Esme wasn't even home.

"Your mom's not home, but I'll be happy to watch her," I said reaching for his daughter, who jumped into my arms. I had helped his mother babysit on several occasions, and I truly enjoyed spending time with Elizabeth.

"Duck, duck!" she squealed. I had been trying to teach her a song about ducks the last few times she had been over, and I was happy she had remembered.

"You want me to sing the ducky song?"

"I think she's referring to the ones at the park," Edward interrupted.

"Oh, I…"

"We came to see if you'd like to join us for a picnic. I have an extra loaf of bread to feed the ducks. Elizabeth really enjoys chasing them."

"That sounds like fun. Thank you for asking. Let me just grab my coat."

"Of course." Edward took Elizabeth back from me and promised her that I'd be coming with.

"So, tell me about the duck song," Edward asked once we were settled in the car.

I blushed and looked back at Elizabeth. I held up my five fingers, and she squealed. I started the five little ducks song and did the hand motion of the ducks swimming away. I saw him glance in the rearview mirror a few times, smiling as she tried to sing along and make the hand gestures with me.

"Where did you learn that song?" he asked truly interested.

"Your mother and I went to a bookstore, and I found a book of songs and rhymes. She bought it, so I could read it with Elizabeth when she visits."

Edward nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. We pulled up to the park, and Elizabeth started bouncing in her car seat when she saw the ducks. Edward got her out, while I grabbed the picnic basket, and we headed toward a picnic table near the pond. I was grateful Esme had given me one of her old heavy winter coats. There wasn't any snow on the ground currently, and it was a bright sunny day, but it was still quite cold here in Chicago. Warmer winters were about the only thing I was missing about Texas, but I gladly dealt with the cold weather here, especially since I could watch Edward run around in the park with his beautiful little girl.

Elizabeth came running toward me giggling, trying to get away from the daddy tickle monster, and jumped up into my arms. "Daddy get me!" she laughed as Edward tickled her, while she squirmed in my arms. She twisted sideways, just as Edward went to reach for her again, and instead, he got a handful of my very generous 42DDD breast. His hand was frozen there for a moment, but then he snatched it back like he'd been burned. "I'm so sorry," he muttered, before turning away quickly.

"It's okay, Edward. Sometimes it's hard to tell where the coat ends and I begin," I tried to laugh it off. I didn't want him to be angry, but it was just an accident after all. All he'd ever really seen me wear was bras that flattened me out, oversized sweatshirts and thick coats, so he probably had no idea how big I really was. These new bras Esme had gotten me made my chest stand up and stick out more than ever. It was weird.

Elizabeth chattered away, and Edward listened to her as if he understood every word, while I pulled the contents of the basket out. I had no idea what Edward had brought, but my eyes lit up when I saw he had apples. Back home, we rarely had fruit, and when we did, I wasn't allowed to have any of it. Since living with the Cullen's, I'd developed a fondness for the green ones, which Edward had brought one of, along with a few red ones.

"Can I have the green apple?" I asked, not even thinking about whether it would make him mad if I asked for it.

"Sure, whichever you want," Edward nodded.

We ate the sandwiches, chips and fruit, and then we headed toward the pond with the extra loaf of bread, so Elizabeth could feed the ducks. As we sat there side by side on the bank, throwing bread to the ducks, I could sense Edward occasionally glancing over at me.

"You really are pretty," he said quietly, and my eyes snapped to his.

"What?" I asked confused. No one had ever said that to me before.

"You're pretty, Bella. Your eye color is really interesting, like it can't decide whether to be green or brown; and your hair is really nice, kind of wavy, with a little curl at the ends. Your skin is really nice, too, like porcelain, and your lips…" he stopped, staring at my mouth, before looking away. "You're beautiful, actually."

I had no idea what to say, so I just said, "Thank you?"

Elizabeth picked that moment to let us know her pull-up needed tending to, so we headed back to the car. I changed her quickly on the back seat, watching her rub her eyes the whole time. Edward declared it was n-a-p time, so we headed back to the Cullen's. Elizabeth was asleep in her seat before we ever pulled up in the driveway.

"Thank you for coming out with us, Bella. I had a great time," Edward smiled at me, looking down shyly at his clasped hands in his lap.

"I did, too, Edward. I'm looking forward to our date tomorrow night…that is if we're still going?" I asked uncertain. As wonderful as today had been, I couldn't help but hope that it wasn't our only date for the week.

"Of course we're still going. I'll pick you up at the usual time?" he asked, and I smiled widely. He got out with me and walked me up to the door, and then he did something he had never done before. He leaned in and kissed my cheek, his lips lingering on my skin, before pulling away slowly. I could smell his cologne, spicy with a hint of musk, and it made me want to grab him and do…something.

I watched him drive away, before I headed inside to find Esme sitting in the family room, her laptop in front of her. I hung up my coat, before I joined her on the sofa.

"So, what has you smiling like the cat that got the cream?" Esme asked, grinning at me over the top of her computer. I didn't even realize I was smiling.

"I went to the park with Edward and Elizabeth," I reported, still unable to wipe the grin off my face. "We had a picnic."

"That must have been some good food to have you grinning like that still," she smirked.

"He kissed my cheek," I said in a dreamy voice.

"Really?" Esme squeaked, setting her laptop on the coffee table and sitting up.

"Yeah, and it was amazing," I sighed. "It was my first kiss."

Esme grabbed me and hugged me tightly, bouncing as she did so. I had gotten used to her hugs and wrapped my arms around her as well, hugging her back just as enthusiastically.

"That's wonderful! I was hoping he'd start coming around. Ever since Emily died, he's been so closed off. It took a lot of begging, pleading and even some threats of setting him up with my friends' daughter, Tanya, whom he can't stand by the way, to get him to try again. The very idea of dating her had him turning green. She's so…_skinny_. Nothing but a bag of bones and a bad attitude that one, she's not a pleasant girl at all. I'm so glad he brought you here, Bella. You're just what he needs, and Elizabeth, too. Please be patient with him. I'm sure it won't be long before he realizes what he has."

Getting ready for my date the next day was more nerve-wracking than ever before. He had called me beautiful, and I felt somewhat obligated to prove that I really was. His words were still ringing in my ears about my eyes and hair.

Esme noticed me fidgeting. "Are you alright, dear?"

"I want to look pretty," I confessed.

"Well, mission accomplished."

"No, it's just…he said some stuff."

She stiffened up, like she was about to be upset. I knew that it wasn't at me. I needed to clear up the misunderstanding before it got out of hand. "He said I was beautiful. He said my eyes and hair were pretty and…and I kind of want to make them more so…I don't know, but…"

Her grin was huge. "I understand, pick out your clothes, and meet me in your bathroom."

I dug through the closet of stuff she had given me. She had really good taste, and since we were the same build, her clothes didn't make me look frumpy. She had even bought me some tight tummy-tucking underwear.

I squished into the weird underwear and got one of the bras out that made my chest stand up and out. I was startled when Esme came hurrying in. "Oh, good, you haven't picked your dress. I have just the thing," she said giddily and dove straight to the back of my closet. She pulled out a red dress that I'd never worn, because I just didn't have the confidence. It was a little tighter than I'd usually wear, but the cut on it was flattering. It was bright red in color, which was much bolder than I thought I could pull off, but she had it tugged down over my head before I could get a word out. I looked down, and my eyes about bugged out of my head at the amount of cleavage on display.

She rushed me into the bathroom and had me sit on the toilet. She had makeup out on the counter. "You don't need a foundation. Your skin is beautiful, but we can definitely make your eyes pop!" she said excitedly. When she was done with that, she opened a tube of lipstick that had a much bolder color than I had ever considered wearing. "This goes great with the dress." She put it on, drawing more attention to my full lips than I thought possible. I wondered if Edward would think about kissing me.

"Time for hair," Esme sang. She took it out of my ponytail and brushed it neatly. She whipped out a curling iron and went to town on my thick, waist-length hair. I'd admit when she had me look in the mirror, I almost didn't recognize myself. "Now, go put on your black pumps," she waved me off and ran to her bedroom. I wondered what she was up to. She came back with a sleek black coat and a little black purse.

"I don't need a purse. I don't have anything to put into it."

"You do now," she was bouncing happily. I hoped the date went well. She was so happy to hear Edward had kissed my cheek. I think her and I were both hoping for a repeat performance. She had tucked lipstick and some eye makeup in the purse, along with some baby wipes. "I don't think Elizabeth is coming with us."

"That's for your makeup. If it runs or smears or something, you use them to clean it up and re-apply it."

I wasn't that familiar with makeup. I didn't think I'd be able to redo what she had done with my eyes.

"Don't worry, honey. I'm sure you'll do fine."

I slipped into my little black heels, just as Carlisle announced that Edward had arrived.

"Let me quickly get a picture," she said flapping her hands around and running off after her camera.

I took a deep breath and picked up my coat and purse. Esme was so sure he'd like what he saw. Edward was talking with his dad, when I stepped into the room. Elizabeth noticed me first, squealing and reaching for me. Edward turned toward me with a smile, but froze when he looked at me. His eyes widened, and he pushed Elizabeth into his father's arms, not even paying attention to either one of them. He took a few steps in my direction, his eyes raking over me. He pinched his lips in his teeth and put his hand in his pocket. I kind of wished he would've reached out to me instead, but his eyes were stuck on my breasts, so he didn't notice my disappointment. He reached out his other hand to me, when his eyes finally made it up to my face. "You look amazing."

"I want a picture!" his mother came running in waving the camera, making Carlisle laugh. "Go on, put your arm around her."

I thought it odd that he left his hand in his pocket for the picture and made me hold Elizabeth, when Esme insisted we take one with her as well.

"Be a gentleman," Carlisle called after him, which I thought was silly. Edward was always a gentleman.

When we were in the car, I noticed him shift uncomfortably in his seat. I wondered if Elizabeth had tossed a toy into it, and he hadn't noticed it before he sat down. I looked over at his lap to see if I could see it and maybe help him out, but what I saw was not a toy. My eyes widened, and I blushed brightly. There had been a few books on the shelf that had mentioned stuff like this, but I'd never actually been around it. His pants were tight, there was a definite outline of what he was packing in them, and it wasn't spare change. In fact, he looked to have a whole bankroll in there. All my insecurities about what I was wearing were gone instantly. Edward was hard, for _me_. He really thought I was beautiful, and maybe even sexy, by the way his body was reacting to me.

He usually had his hand on the small of my back when we went places, but he was standing closer to me, and it was on my opposite hip instead.

"Reservation for Cullen, table for two, in the back, preferably," he told the hostess. She tucked us into a quiet back corner circular booth. I was pretty sure we were alone, and everyone else was seated in the other side of the restaurant. Instead of sitting across from me in the booth, he sat in the middle closer to me. The air around us felt thick with how focused he was on me. He reached his hand out to me and pulled me closer to him. Our knees were touching, and my whole body felt charged. It felt amazing.

"You look very beautiful tonight."

"Thank you, you're looking very dapper yourself," I said barely above a whisper, because he hadn't spoken any louder himself.

"I really enjoy our time together, Bella. I think bringing you home to Chicago was an excellent decision."

"I'm so happy you did. I really love it here. I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you."

"I'm glad you're happy." His hand brushed my cheek, causing me to blush.

"Your parents are wonderful. It's so nice to have a family." My eyes darted up to his nervously, "I hope you don't mind that I think of them…"

"No, I love that you think of them as family, because you are. My mother really enjoys having a daughter at home."

"I really love being with her, too. She's so sweet, Edward," I said sincerely, meeting his eyes.

He was staring at me even more intensely now, his eyes darting from mine to my lips, and back again. My cheeks flushed a deep red under his scrutiny, and I was unable to hold his gaze. He cleared his throat and leaned back, when the server brought our food.

We started to eat, and I decided to talk about something causal. I felt like he might burn my clothes off with his eyes, the way he was going. "Easter is coming up. I've had a lot of fun picking out things to go in Elizabeth's basket and eggs."

His smile was sweet and genuine. He always lit up when we talked about her. "I was looking at the Easter stuff the other day, when I was at the grocery store. I'm glad to hear you and my mother are handling it, because I felt a little 'in over my head,' when I walked down that aisle."

"It's been so much fun!" I launched right into what we had planned.

After a while, he interrupted me with a big grin, "Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you?"

I couldn't stop my heated blush. "Yes," I barely whispered, half worried I'd imagined his question.

His hand cupped my neck, and he leaned to the side, kissing right by my ear. I was a little disappointed, until he whispered, "You're so wonderful," and went right for my lips.

The kiss started out tender, but I'd moaned in relief, when he'd decided to kiss my lips and not just my cheek, and it seemed to really affect him. He moaned in response, kissing me a little harder, and his other hand moved to my waist, pulling me closer. He pulled back slightly to breathe, and while I was gasping for air, his tongue touched my lips and slipped right between them. My hands instinctively went to his shoulder and hair, and the hand he had on my waist dipped down, grabbing my backside, pulling me even closer than before. My body felt like I was on fire. I had never been kissed or touched like that before. Heck, I'd never been looked at the way he had been looking at me all night. I felt like my body would explode in excitement. He pulled back slightly, his eyes looking deeply into mine. "Thank you," he said softly.

I nodded yes, not sure I could speak yet. My whole body was hot, so I doubted he could distinguish my blush from my heated skin. We heard the tap of the bill being set on the table. We looked up startled. The waiter had a smirk on his face, as he collected the dessert dishes. "Would you like to order another dessert to go?" he asked, and I thought he was making a crack about my weight for all of two seconds, and then he added, "The chocolate cake has a divine caramel sauce that I could put on the side for you." His eyes landed on my cleavage, and I'd swear he licked his lips!

Edward cleared his throat, drawing the waiter's attention back to himself, "One to go, please."

My head snapped to him.

"For Elizabeth," he stumbled out as he shifted in his seat. "I can give it to her as a treat tomorrow after dinner."

I smiled widely. "I think she'd like that."

We went to a science museum after dinner. It was all very interesting. There was soft instrumental music playing in the background, as we explored the different exhibits. There were signs pointing the way to a children's section, and I was anxious to see it. "Edward, look. They have a children's section." I hurried off in that direction and smiled at the toys and activities they had to teach children different properties of science.

"I think Elizabeth is still a bit young for this."

"Yes, I suppose so, but you should definitely bring her once she gets a little older," I said and then sat down on a bench to rest.

"Bella, are you just doing all of this because it's expected of you?"

"Doing what?"

"Acting like you care for Elizabeth and spending time with me. Do you feel like you have to if you want to stay?"

I was stunned and insulted by his question. "I love Elizabeth. She's a sweetheart, and I really love spending time with her, teaching her silly songs and reading her children's books. I think I enjoy the books more than she does. That Dr. Seuss is really catchy."

"You didn't answer the question."

I stood up in front of him, unsure of what to say. I did care for him. He made me feel beautiful, and I'd get so excited when I knew he was coming to take me out. "I'd love your daughter, even if you were a jerk. It just so happens that you're not one, and I like going out with you. I like spending time with you."

"My mother wouldn't kick you out if you didn't want to date me."

I sat down on the far side of the bench, feeling shy. "What if I want to date you?" I wasn't sure how we went from a hot kiss to him pushing me away.

"Do you?" He moved a little closer to me, leaning forward so he could see my face.

"You're a very handsome man, Edward." I blushed hard and peeked at him. He seemed to still be waiting for more. I took a deep breath, steeling my courage. "I really like you a lot. I know you think I'm not my own person. It's why you sent me to see Dr. Rogers, but I've been seeing her for three months now, and I think I've made some progress. I'd tell you no if I didn't want to do something. I didn't say no to going out with you, and when you asked to kiss me…" I blushed even more, "I really liked it. I'm not going to say no to that for sure."

He chuckled and pulled me into his arms. "You don't know how relieved I am to hear you say that." He held me for a moment and then cupped my cheek. "Can I kiss you again?"

"Yes, please," I pleaded.

We kissed for a long time. His hands roamed along my sides, down to my butt, which he seemed to enjoy squeezing, a lot. I was a little surprised when his hand hit my thigh, and he pulled back, gripping it tightly. He was breathing hard and dropped his head on my shoulder.

"I need to get you back," he whispered and kissed my neck, before he slid down the bench away from me. He sat with his eyes closed for a moment, breathing deeply, before he stood up and slipped his hand into his pocket. He used his free hand to help me up off the bench and then wrapped his arm around me, walking me to the car. He leaned in several times, burying his nose in my hair and running it on my neck.

The ride home was silent, and the atmosphere was thick. I could tell he wanted more from me. I understood now why Carlisle had told him to be a gentleman. He somehow knew Edward would struggle with it.

When we got to the front porch, he still had his hand in his pocket. At this point in the date, he'd usually kiss my hand or something, tell me he had a nice evening, and then we'd go inside, so he could pick up Elizabeth.

But tonight, he stood with his hand in his pocket, and I decided I wasn't having that. He'd kissed me several times, and I was sure what we had done qualified as a make-out session. He wasn't going to get away with a kiss on my hand after that. I grabbed his arms and tugged the one in his pocket out of it. "You're going to need both hands to kiss me goodnight."

I was being bold, and after the words were out of my mouth, I worried that he'd reject me. I worried for nothing. He quickly wrapped his arms around me and kissed me fervently. His hand found his favorite spot on my backside, and since we were standing, he pressed me against his body. His lower hand pressed my hips into him, and I felt it. His manhood was large, hard and pressed against me, and I wasn't scared like I thought I'd be. My stomach flipped, and I shamefully wanted to reach between us and explore that part of him. My curiosity was running rampant. Before I realized what I was doing, my hand dropped to his backside, and I pressed him even harder into me. I gave his butt a good squeeze, because hey, turnabout was fair play. His body stiffened, his hands gripping me so tightly, it was almost painful. His mouth attacked mine vigorously, and I knew for sure that Edward wanted to do a lot more than kiss me.

My hand slipped up to his lower back, and he pulled back minutely. He was panting hard, with his eyes closed. He moved his hands to my face and rested his forehead against mine. "You need to go in before me. I'll be there shortly." He hadn't released me yet, and even though I didn't want to, I let go of him and covered his hands with mine.

He opened his eyes and chuckled, then kissed my forehead, before he freed me to go inside.

I didn't realize I was breathing hard, too, until Esme called to me worried, "Bella, are you okay?"

I had leaned back against the wall, hoping to compose myself a little, before I found them in the house, but I had no such luck. Esme reached out and rubbed the back of my arm, "Did something happen?" Her eyes focused on my mouth, "Where's Edward?"

When she said his name, my face heated up, and I couldn't help the smile that danced on my lips. "He needed a minute. He said he'd be in shortly."

It was then that he stepped inside and wrapped his arm around me. I looked up at him and saw he had lipstick on his face. My eyes widened, and then I heard Esme giggle. "Edward, you have a little something on your mouth." She reached out and wiped it off and then wiped a smudge off my face, too. "I take it you two had a good time?"

Edward chuckled and pulled me closer, and I hid my face in his chest.

"Yeah, we did," Edward answered, while he rubbed my back.

Elizabeth must've heard his voice, because she came racing in and jumped into his arms.

Once they were gone, Esme was all over me. She let out a surprising squeal. "Oh, my heavens, he kissed you, didn't he? I knew it, I knew it!" she pointed her finger at me excitedly.

"Esme?" She had gotten Carlisle's attention. "What's going on?"

"Good things, sweetheart, very good things! Edward kissed Bella!"

Carlisle looked amused by his wife. "Well, I'm not surprised. I hope he was still a gentleman."

My face heated up in embarrassment. "Yes," I whispered, wondering if my definition of a gentleman was the same as his.

"Alright, you tell me if things get out of hand. I want you to feel comfortable, and I can still put him in his place."

"Thank you, but I don't think that'll be necessary."

"Of course it won't, Carlisle, this is good. Edward is finally coming around and opening his heart again." She turned to me, "I knew you were something special when he told me about you, Bella. I'm so happy for you." She gave me a hug. I really loved her hugs. I didn't think I'd ever get enough of her acting as my mom.

To my great disappointment, he was much better behaved on our subsequent dates. Thankfully, each one ended in a searing kiss that left me tingling for the rest of the week. Instead of only having one date a week, he changed it to two. The first included Elizabeth, and the second was just us alone. I had a wonderful time on both. They were really starting to feel like my family.

On Easter, I helped him hide eggs in his parents' backyard, while Esme and Carlisle kept Elizabeth busy. I was tucking a green egg into some leaves on the ground, when I felt him come up behind me and grab my butt. When I stood up, he held me against him. "I love seeing you out here, doing this."

"Hiding eggs?" I asked confused.

"Playing Easter Bunny to my little girl, she loves you."

"Well, I love her, too, Edward, very much."

"I know. It shows in everything you do for her, for us."

He finally let me turn around in his arms and kiss him. We were still wrapped in a heated kiss, when we heard Carlisle call out, "Is the Easter Bunny still out here?" When we looked at him, he was snickering. "Is the Easter Bunny done?" he asked again.

"Yeah, she just finished up," Edward said with a mischievous grin and pinched my butt.

I jumped a little, and he chuckled. "Hopping just like the Easter Bunny, too," he teased.

I gave him a playful push and met up with his family on the back porch. Elizabeth was squealing excitedly. She'd already spotted a few brightly-colored eggs. "Is everything ready?"Esme asked.

"Yes, release the hounds!" Edward shouted.

Elizabeth took off like a shot and nearly bit it a few times, because she refused to slow down. Edward hopped around her like a basketball player, guarding her. He'd steadied her a few times already. Once she took notice of me again, she shot straight for me, and I barely caught her, before she fell. She wasn't even fazed by her unbalance and shoved an egg in my face. "EGG!" she squealed.

I hugged her tightly, because I loved her so much. "You found it, great job! You have so many. Let's go find more." I helped her find the last few, and Edward followed behind us, picking up the eggs she'd drop when she swung her basket around.

I hadn't realized it at the time, but Esme had been taking pictures of us. She was slowly accumulating an album of us as a family. Over the following holidays and birthdays, as well as a couple of summer barbeques, more were added.

I really liked the barbeque ones, because Edward kept his arm around me in front of all his neighbors and family friends, and if anyone asked who I was, he'd answer that I was his girlfriend, Bella.

It was official, I was his girlfriend.

I started watching Elizabeth full-time, while Edward worked. I hadn't known before, but he'd taken a lot of time off after his wife had died, and he had only gone back to work half days and worked from home the rest. The few days a week Esme had been watching her were the days he had to go in.

When they were discussing him taking on more hours, I volunteered to take over completely. After a few early morning drop-offs with a cranky little girl, I suggested that I come over instead. Carlisle left for work about the same time as Edward needed to, so I asked if he could take me to Edward's house on the way to work. They thought it was a brilliant plan.

Elizabeth adjusted to her father's return to work quickly. I had studied up on child development for her age and enjoyed teaching the basics and doing crafts with her. I tried to have something fun for her to give to Edward after work every day. I knew he hadn't asked me to take care of his house for him, but I'd noticed on the second day that he was falling behind on the laundry. It started with laundry, and then it quickly spread to the rest of the house. He told me I didn't have to clean up, but I insisted.

Having dinner ready for him after work was the next logical choice. He worked so hard during the day, and I knew he was tired. He'd come in and play with Elizabeth, before he'd start dinner, then he'd get her ready for bed. I did my best to simplify it for him. Dinner was always in the oven for him. Her nightclothes and a towel were set out for her bath, and the beds were made and turned down.

He'd kiss me and thank me profusely; telling me I didn't have to do it all, but I'd tell him that I wanted to take care of him and Elizabeth. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I couldn't. He knew that I loved his daughter, but I'd yet to tell him I loved him. I wanted him to love me so badly, but I was scared to get my hopes up and too frightened to put my heart out there by telling him I loved him first. It was very possible that he didn't feel the same way for me. He still had pictures of his deceased wife all over the house, and that led me to believe that he wasn't ready to move on. I wasn't sure that he ever would be.

Everything changed one evening, when Elizabeth had an ear ache. She hadn't slept well the night before, and she fussed through her naptime. With Edward's permission, I gave her some pain reliever. She'd fallen asleep, stretched out on me, while lying on the couch.

Edward came home a little early. Carlisle wouldn't be by to pick me up for a couple more hours. Edward carefully picked up Elizabeth and put her to bed. I went to the kitchen and cleaned up our lunch dishes and got right to work assembling dinner. I had just finished and moved to the laundry room, when he came up behind me. He pressed me against the washer, making it impossible to move, while he kissed my neck. His hands went to my butt, massaging it as he pressed against me. He was definitely hard.

"You're so beautiful, and to see you here in my home…" he trailed off, nibbling my neck some more. He finally eased up enough so I could turn around. Once I did, he claimed my lips. Elizabeth was usually awake when he came home, so we never exchanged more than a light kiss goodbye. But now, she was asleep, and we were alone. My arms wrapped around him, and I encouraged him as he thrust against me. He was fighting to inhale, breathing hard against my lips. He attacked my lips hard, when I squeezed his butt. He shocked me when he boldly grabbed a handful of my breast. It was seconds later that he stiffened against me, shuddering.

His lips slowed, and he finally pulled away. "I need to…" he didn't finish what he was saying, just left. I stood still, not sure what exactly had happened, but sure at the same time.

When I finished in the laundry room, I went to the living room to wait for Carlisle to come for me. It'd be another hour. Edward came down the hall dressed in his boxers and t-shirt. I'd never seen him with so little clothing. "Bella, come here," he beckoned me, holding his hand out.

I took it reluctantly and let him lead me to his bedroom. I was curious and excited, but still afraid.

"I'd like to try something with you," he said and instructed me to lie back on his bed. I wasn't sure if I was ready, but his eyes were pleading with me to cooperate.

He crawled over me and started kissing me. His mouth was more insistent than before. His free hand roamed my body, squeezing my backside under us and then moved to run over my stomach. He slowly undid the buttons on my blouse, exposing my bra. My body was on fire, screaming for more attention, and he kissed all the newly exposed skin. His hand tickled under my breast, and then his eyes focused on mine, as he moved his hand to the peak. My tummy flipped, and I let out a moan, when he gently brushed over and pinched my nipple.

I wanted it, I wanted more. He pulled the cup down and sucked my nipple into his mouth. My fingers dug into his hair. I cried out at the new sensation. It was magnificent. He was between my thighs, rubbing his manhood against me, and I found myself pushing back, begging for more friction. I had never felt anything like it before.

My bra was off, and I was so focused on his mouth on my breast, that I hadn't noticed his hand dipping into my pants, and I jumped, pushing him up. I wasn't ready for that.

"Edward," my voice stopped him.

"Bella," he answered back and twirled his finger around my little nub. I'd admit that felt amazing. I hesitated and panted, letting him touch me some more. When he went to lower his finger to enter me, it brought me back to my senses. I was still a virgin, and I wasn't ready for that. I stopped him again. "I'm not ready for this."

He retreated immediately, leaving me undressed on his bed, disappearing into his bathroom. I was shocked by his abrupt departure, and so I dressed quickly, ashamed I had let things get so far. I didn't think I'd led him on, but it was obvious that I had.

I nervously stood on the porch, waiting for Carlisle. I quickly jumped in his car when he pulled up.

"Is everything alright, Bella?" he asked.

I nodded yes, hoping he couldn't tell what I had done with his son just by looking at me.

The subsequent days were upsetting. I was sure things were ruined between Edward and I. He made it a point to come home about the same time as Carlisle came to pick me up. He usually went into the restroom, or found something else to keep him busy, so he didn't have to kiss me goodbye. After a week of that, I knew it was over for sure. I did my best to hide how hurt I was, and I explained away why Edward had cancelled our date.

Esme found me in my room crying. I tried to hide it, but it was too late. "What's going on, honey?" I shook my head, because I didn't know. "Did you and Edward have a fight?"

"I don't think so."

"Well, can you tell me what happened?"

"I'd rather not," I whispered ashamed of my bad behavior. She left me, but I knew she didn't leave the issue alone, because Edward showed up about an hour later. He stood in my bedroom doorway nervously, holding a bouquet of flowers. "Bella, would you please join me for dinner?"

My heart jumped, full of hope. We sat stiffly at the restaurant table. He focused on his plate, and I realized his parents had most likely forced him to take me out. "I'm not sure what I did, but I'm sorry."

He looked up at me confused. "You didn't do anything. It was me. I was out of line. I pressured you. I know you want to take things slow, so I'm trying to reign myself in. I'm backing away, because I don't want you to feel obligated to do anything with me. You don't want me that way, and I need to accept that."

I wasn't sure what to say. I wasn't ready to have sex with him yet, but I was afraid if I told him I did want that with him, he'd try something again, so I just nodded and agreed to take things slowly with him.

He thankfully went back to kissing me goodbye. It wasn't as intense, but more sweet. He went from wrapping his arm around me when we were out together, to just holding my hand. We still took Elizabeth out for a family date, and then we had our own. He was very polite and spoke kindly to me, but it felt like something was missing.

"Would you mind if we went Christmas shopping?" he asked me, when we were out on a date.

"No, that'll be fun. Are we going to be picking toys for Elizabeth? I have a few I'd like to pick up myself." He had been paying me to watch Elizabeth. I had refused at first, but he had insisted. Esme let me know that he had been paying her as well, so I finally conceded.

I was wandering down a different aisle, looking for a specific toy I knew Elizabeth had been hoping for, when I heard someone call out Edward's name. "Edward, it's so good to see you again! I know it's been a while. I just moved back to the area."

"It's nice to see you again, Charlotte." He sounded really pleased to see her, and I realized that maybe he was the one who felt obligated to date me.

"Would you mind if I pick out a toy to give to Elizabeth? I've been thinking of you. How are you two holding up?"

"We're doing better."

"Do you still work at Volturi and Associates?"

"Yes, they were very accommodating."

"That's good to hear. My new job is based in a building close by there. We should do lunch sometime."

"That sounds good."

"Great, I'll see you soon," the woman purred.

My heart felt like it'd been ripped out. I never once considered that he'd be the one feeling obligated to be with me, but that was obviously the case. I clutched the doll to me, trying to pull myself together, before he found me. I wandered down the aisle a little ways, stopping in front of the doll accessories.

"There you are. I thought I'd lost you. Did you find what you wanted?" he asked looking at the doll in my arms.

"Yes, I was just looking for some stocking stuffers to go with it."

He grabbed a few baby doll bottles off the shelf, "Good idea."

He looked at his watch and ushered me to the checkout. It was nearly time for Elizabeth to go to bed.

When we got home, Esme noticed that I was depressed. "Is everything alright, dear."

"No…it's fine. Edward ran into a friend this evening. Her name is Charlotte. I guess he knew her from before. She's moved back to the area." I just put it out there, hoping she'd know not to pressure Edward to be with me.

She gave me a tight smile. "Well then, that's…nice," she said, before quietly slipping out of my room. I was pretty sure she wouldn't kick me out, but knew I needed to find a better paying job, so I could get my own place. I couldn't live off Edward's family forever.

Edward didn't notice I was upset, and I knew things were really going downhill, when he started to just give me light pecks, instead of full kisses. Despite the promise I had made to myself never to do this again, come Christmas Eve, I found myself standing on the Cullen's back porch, making the same wish I had made every year. "I wish I could find someone to love me. I wish it was…just, please, send me someone to love me."

"Bella?" Edward was sitting on the far side of the porch.

I felt horribly embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were out here."

He approached me slowly. "You want someone else to love you?" he sounded so sad.

"I won't force you…I know you don't."

"Don't what?" he asked with his brow furrowed.

"I know you don't feel for me the way I feel for you."

He took a deep breath, "Tell me."

"Tell you?"

"How do you feel for me? Tell me," he demanded.

I looked away, not wanting to tell him, but knowing he wouldn't let me off the hook. It was best if I just got it over with quickly, so we could move on. "I love you."

He crushed me against his chest, squeezing me painfully tight, but I didn't want him to loosen his hold on me. He let out a few choppy breaths. "You love me?" he asked.

"Yes, I do, very much, but I don't expect…"

He pulled back, taking my face in his hands, looking me right in the eyes. "I love you, too, so much. I thought I'd lost you. I was sure I'd messed everything up, but you still love me?" he asked again.

"Yes, Edward, I never stopped loving you."

He kissed me hard, and then he crushed me against him again. "Please don't leave me, please don't wish for anyone else. I need you, Bella, I love you."

"I don't want anyone but you."

He let out a happy laugh. "Thank God, thank God, I was just sitting out here praying I could win you back, but I didn't know how."

I looked up at him with a shy smile. "You never lost me."

He kissed me again, not pulling away, and whispered against my lips, "Marry me, please, say yes. I want you to marry me." My heart pounded, and my eyes widened. I was sure I was dreaming. "Bella?" He looked nervous.

I realized I hadn't answered him yet. "Yes, yes!" I shouted louder to make sure he heard.

Esme and Carlisle stuck their heads out the back door. "What's going on?" Carlisle asked.

"She said yes! I asked her to marry me, and she said yes, I didn't lose her. She loved me all along."

"I told you she did," Esme fussed. "Thank heavens you got up the nerve to finally speak up." I laughed, hiding my face in his chest. "We have a wedding to plan. I think spring would be nice. What do you think?" Esme asked me with a huge grin.

I looked up at Edward, and he was nodding in agreement.

"That sounds wonderful."

Edward and I did marry late that spring, and a couple of years later and with some therapy, he agreed to try for another child. It wasn't easy on him, and he was extremely overprotective, but when our son was born, healthy and beautiful, an answer to lots of wishes and prayers from our whole family, we knew for a fact we had someone listening to our pleas beyond the stars.

And so it was, my Christmas wish was finally granted. After all my wishing and praying, I finally had someone, lots of someone's, who loved me, just as I was.

I was finally getting my happily ever after.


End file.
